MELBOURNE (Boscutti Report) — Opposition Leader Bill Shorten is considering surgery to replace his head with a smaller cranium.
A spokesman said ‘everyone knows Bill’s got a big head.’
‘But research is showing it’s becoming a big distraction,’ he said.
‘It makes his body look small and inconsequential.’
Research also revealed children under seven years of age find Mr Shorten’s big head ‘frightening’.
The spokesman said this would damage Mr Shorten’s appeal to voters with young families, crucial in the upcoming election.
‘A smaller, less Frankensteinish head will solve all the problems,’ he said.