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Boscutti Report — Barnaby Joyce

Truss tosses for Joyce

Barnaby Joyce

CANBERRA (Boscutti Report) — Former National Party Leader Warren Truss said the furore over Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce’s love affair needs to be resolved ‘constructively and quickly’ as reports emerged that a delegation was being formed to urge him to stand aside for the good of the government. ‘The delegation is going to toss for it,’ Mr Truss said. ‘We’ve got a marvelous two-up game ready to go.’ Mr Truss said if the coins land on heads, Mr Joyce will remain leader of the National Party. ‘If the coins land on tails then Barnaby will be out on his arse,’ he...

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Turnbull backs Joyce over ‘fuck buddy’

Barnaby Joyce

CANBERRA (Boscutti Report) — Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has backed Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce over his girlfriend and former staff member Vikki Campion. Mr Turnbull said there was no breach for Mr Joyce over Ms Campion’s various jobs as she 'wasn't technically his partner’. ‘At the time she was technically his fuck buddy,’ he said. Ms Campion left Mr Joyce’s office last year to take a job with Nationals Senator Matthew Canavan and then with the party's whip Damian Drum. Senior Nationals senator Nigel Scullion said the party tried to keep skilled female staff on hand. ‘We like passing them...

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Joyce declares midlife crisis gifts

Barnaby Joyce

ARMIDALE (Boscutti Report) — Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has declared numerous midlife crisis gifts in his pecuniary interest register. The gifts include a free rental property in Armidale he is believed to be living in with his new partner, his former media adviser, Vikki Campion, with whom he is expecting a baby. The townhouse in Armidale is said to be provided free by local multi-millionaire businessman, Greg Maguire. A local real estate spokesman said the townhouse was ‘absolutely outstanding.’ ‘It’s equal to anything found in Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane or the Gold Coast,’ he said. ‘It is, quite simply, the...

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Joyce admits lack of condom ‘one of the greatest failures in my life’

Barnaby Joyce

CANBERRA (Boscutti Report) — Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has spoken publicly for the first time about the breakdown of his 24-year marriage and his new relationship with a much younger former staffer, with whom he is expecting a baby. In a difficult interview on the ABC’s 730 program, Mr Joyce said not using a condom was one of the ‘greatest failures’ of his life. ‘I mean, mate, it’s not that hard,’ he said. ‘Just slip it on and you can slip in and out of there without any repercussions.’ Mr Joyce said he was not happy to be having a...

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Joyce says pro-corruption watchdog not needed

Barnaby Joyce

CANBERRA (Boscutti Report) — Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has dismissed the idea of forming an independent pro-corruption body to oversee federal politics, saying the Senate already performs the function well. Joyce’s declaration followed a commitment by the Labor Leader Bill Shorten to establish a bribery commission to investigate and ensure unions and big business are receiving value for money for the money they pay politicians. Mr Joyce said the current system had dealt with the cost-benefit analysis of personal donations to numerous politicians from Chinese Communist Party-linked donors. ‘Look, mate, I’m happy to have a bit of a look...

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