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Boscutti Report — Malcolm Turnbull

Turnbull pushes for minimum wage rise for CEOs

Malcolm Turnbull

CANBERRA (Boscutti Report) — Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has pushed for a minimum wage rise for working Australian CEOs. Mr Turnbull said many CEOs in Australia were doing it tough. “My economic advisers tell me that some CEOs are having to make do earning only a 100 times more than workers,’ he said. ‘This is resolutely unfair and, frankly, unAustralian,’ he said. ‘American CEOs enjoy earning around 270 times more than the average worker.’ Mr Turnbull said it was obvious Australian CEOs needed a minimum wage rise to ensure they earn at least 200 times more than workers. ‘It’s just...

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Turnbull pushes against minimum wage rise

Malcolm Turnbull

CANBERRA (Boscutti Report) — Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has pushed back against a minimum wage rise for Australian workers. Mr Turnbull cited a litany of disproved economic theories to bolster his stance. ‘Of course, everyone knows that wage rises don’t negatively affect businesses,’ he said. ‘Higher wages lead to higher consumption which lifts company sales and company profits.’ ‘But we’re committed to a scare campaign where even a small wage rise will bankrupt thousands of companies and put millions of Australian workers out onto the street.’ A spokesman said it was important to confuse the issue with a litany of...

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Turnbull praises NBN

Malcolm Turnbull

SYDNEY (Boscutti Report) — Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has boasted of getting 100Mbps on his home internet service. ‘The NBN did a fantastic job,’ he said. ‘Technicians arrived five minutes early and had everything connected and ready to go in under half an hour.’  ‘It’s good to be Prime Minister.’

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Turnbull declines to offer Trump advice on sex ban

Malcolm Turnbull

WASHINGTON (Boscutti Report) — Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull declined to advise his President Donald Trump on pursuing a sex ban among members of his executive branch, amid calls for less sex scandals in the White House. Speaking at a joint press conference with Mr Trump, Mr Turnbull said Australia’s ‘history with political sex scandals and regulation is obviously very different to the US.’ ‘There was a massive mistake by Barnaby Joyce just this year,” he said, of the scandal surrounding the Former Prime Minister and National Party Leader Barnaby Joyce after weeks of fallout over his affair with a former...

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Morrison approves sex with contractors

Barnaby Joyce Malcolm Turnbull Scott Morrison

CANBERRA (Boscutti Report) — Treasurer Scott Morrison has been called on to assure voters after a fallout between Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull and Deputy Prime Minister and National Party Leader Barnaby Joyce following Mr Joyce’s affair with a senior staffer. ‘The issue is about standards,’ he said. ‘This is about having sex with one of your staff when you’re a person of power and influence as a minister.’ Mr Morrison said the solution was to move ministerial staffers from paid employment to independent contracts. ‘As independent contractors they have no rights or benefits whatsoever,’ he said. ‘So you can fuck...

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