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Boscutti Report — Matthew Guy

Guy pledges to ‘revolutionise’ regional rail service with camels

Matthew Guy

MELBOURNE (Boscutti Report) — Victorian Opposition Leader Matthew Guy has pledged to ‘revolutionise’ regional rail service by replacing existing diesel-hauled trains with camels. Mr Guy said the upgrade would also improve passenger comfort, leg room and safety. ‘We take regional infrastructure seriously,’ he said. ‘We’re willing to put our money where our mouth is with a projected investment of $63,300.’ In total there will be 96 new camels. The train of camels will operate on lines running to Warrnambool, Shepparton, Albury, Bairnsdale and Swan Hill. The election pitch comes as Victorians head to the polls in November. Mr Guy said...

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Guy announces ‘tough on rhyme’ approach at schools

Matthew Guy

MELBOURNE (Boscutti Report) — Victorian Opposition Leader Matthew Guy has announced that if elected, he would restore the poetry police in schools program as part of a plan to combat free form poems. ‘Expressive and modern, open forms of poetry are a scourge among students,’ he said. The initiative would cost $50 million over four years and involve state, Catholic and independent schools. One of its most contentious elements is a two-year pilot of dedicated, on-duty armed poetry police officers who will be stationed at 10 metropolitan and regional schools in areas that have ‘specific youth poetry needs or at-risk...

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Guy pushes to enlarge Union Jack on Australian flag

Matthew Guy

MELBOURNE (Boscutti Report) — Victorian Opposition Leader Matthew Guy has called to increase the size of United Kingdom’s Union Jack on the Australian flag. Mr Guy said Australia did not give enough respect to British settlement and the enlargement of the Union Jack was long overdue. ‘At the moment the Union Jack is just tucked up in the bloody left-hand corner,’ he said. ‘It should be at least twice as big.’ A spokesman agreed that doubling the size of the Union Jack would take up the entire flag and offered one suggestion for where the five stars of the Southern...

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Guy polishes Captain Cook statue

Matthew Guy

MELBOURNE (Boscutti Report) — Victorian Opposition Leader Matthew Guy has polished a statue of Captain James Cook to honour Australia Day. Federal Citizenship Minister Alan Tudge said Mr Guy’s efforts were to be ‘applauded’. ‘These people are celebrating our national heritage and a history of invasion, massacres and epic genocide,’ ‘It’s something every Australia should be very proud of.’ Mr Guy polished the statue at St Kilda with a handful of members of the Young Liberal Movement, the youth wing of the Liberal Party of Australia. A spokesman for the Young Liberal Movement said it was a ‘tremendous day’. ‘We...

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Guy vows to teach Victorian students ‘real Aussie values’

Matthew Guy

MELBOURNE (Boscutti Report) — Victorian Opposition Leader Matthew Guy wants to overhaul the Victorian curriculum and instil Australian values in students if it wins the state election. The Coalition has flagged ditching sustainability, Indigenous histories and Australia’s engagement with Asia in favour of teaching ‘real Aussie values’. ‘Whilst we agree with the importance of these topics so as not to give undecided voters cause for concern, we believe greater value would result from not having these bloody cross curriculum priorities which serve only to dilute the teaching of core competencies - racism, misogyny, and rampant patriotism,’ Mr Guy said. Mr...

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