It’s 1994. Bill Hicks is at the bar after a show, drinking a hefty margarita and reading a Noam Chomsky book*.
A tipsy woman with big hair approaches, crosses her arms and lolls her head.
You’re a bit of a misogynist, aren’t you?
Oh, it’s not a bit.
Why do you hate women so much?
Bill laughs, doesn’t look up from his book.
I don’t hate women, m’am.
Bill thinks, still doesn’t look up.
You suck? That’s it?!! That’s best you can do?
Bill looks up at her.
You fuckin’ cunt! Get the fuck out of here right now! Get out! Fuuuck you, you idiot! You’re everything that America should flush down the toilet, you fuckin’ turd. Fuck you! Get out! Get out! You fuuuckin’ drunk bitch!
Bill screams at security.
Take her out! Take her fuuuuckin’ out! Go and see fuckin’ Madonna, you fuckin’ idiot piece of shit! I want you to go find a fuckin’ soul!
Woman totters away, sobbing. Bill turns to the startled barman.
Sorry y’all had to see that.
Bill takes a sip of his margarita and returns to his book.
*Bill reads Noam Chomsky books throughout. Although the story is set in 1994, all the Chomsky books he reads are future titles. Bill is always ahead of the times.