Short Stories

“MEME MACHINE” (SHORT STORY)

In a sterile NATO Command Centre, young Americans gather.

They’re not soldiers, but a new kind of warrior. General Scott Rutledge stands before them, his chest heaving with medals and his heart heavy with disappointment. He speaks of a new war for democracy where the battlefield is the mind of the American voter.

“Meme Machine” is a provocative short story about modern warfare.

Can ideas change the course of a nation?

Can democracy be defended?

2,000 words / 8 minutes of patriotic reading pleasure

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‘Killing the enemy's courage is as vital as killing their troops.’ Carl von Clausewitz

STEFANO BOSCUTTI

MEME MACHINE

GENERAL SCOTT RUTLEDGE clicks the remote control to move on to the next slide in his PowerPoint presentation.

An image of the furious mob smashing into the United States Capitol Building in Washington on January 6, 2021, fills the projector screen.

“We are tasked with ensuring this never happens again on American soil. Americans turning on each other, Americans attacking each other, Americans shooting each other. This is not what America is.’

General Rutledge is in full combat uniform, jacket zipped, rank and medals splayed across his chest. A tall, proud man who has given his life to military service in defence of his country.

‘Now as much as I’d like to shoot all these cocksuckers, especially all the ex-military men and women co-ordinating and leading the charge, I’m bound by the rule of law and the goddamn Geneva Convention.’

General Rutledge looks over the audience of around a hundred young men and women seated in the NATO Command Centre situated in the southern German town of Wiesbaden. He smiles wide.

‘Thankfully, you’re not.’

None of the young men and women in the audience are wearing military uniforms. They’re all American content makers recruited and contracted for Military Information Support Operations.

They’ve been flown in from all over the country but dress and act like they’ve all come from San Francisco’s Hayes Valley. Diverse, well-groomed, slightly stand-offish. A lot of the young men are dressed in expensive workwear to give off a working-class feel. Young men who spend all day behind computers love to dress as if they have jobs cutting down trees or building houses with their hands. Most of the women have a piece of statement jewellery. Everyone has expensive haircuts and military lanyards with white plastic identification cards. Everyone is carrying the latest phones. Some of the older contractors have thin laptops splattered with ironic stickers. Minimalist backpacks are scattered under the seats.

Many of these young people have been working at AI startups, convinced they’re part of the biggest revolution in the history of mankind. Adorned with noise-canceling headphones they believe AI will save the world. They believe they will save the world.

But not before they save America.

‘You’re here because you have a job to do. It’s not an easy job, not a glamorous job. But it’s a job that will secure our constitution, our country’s exemplary role as the leader of the free world.’

General Rutledge sounds straight and true. Some of the young people roll their eyes. Others pull their bullet-proof hoodies down over their faces.

‘We have met our enemy.’

An image of Donald Trump in his trademark blue suit and red tie seated on a private jet, grinning at the camera snaps onto the projection screen.

‘And our enemy never rests.’

The image is replaced with Trump surrounded by cats.

‘These memes are not produced by Republican operatives or MAGA reactionaries on U.S. soil.’

A military map of Russia, China And North Korea snaps onto the projection screen.

‘These memes are produced and spread by our enemies in Moscow, Saint Petersburg, Shanghai, Beijing, Chengdu, Pyongyang.’

Some of the young men and women shift in their seats.

‘Politics is war. Never more so than in an election year. Our foreign enemies are fanning the greatest threat to our democracy by inciting internal forces. Make no mistake, our motherfucking freedoms and our motherfucking liberties are at stake. Our duly elected government is under attack.’

General Rutledge looks out at the young men and women.

‘We need to fight. And we need to win.’

An American flag snaps on the projection screen.

‘We will not win a war with bombs and bullets. No one ever does. All that hoo-ha is for show. It’s good for television news and wiping out buildings and cities. It’s entertainment. Why do you think it’s called the theatre of war? Winning a battle doesn’t win you a war.’

‘Psychological warfare reaches far beyond the battlefield. Hostile propaganda and disinformation ins more dangerous than any missile.’

‘Our election is under attack by foreign forces. Influence operations from Russia and China are ramping up on social media. The Kremlin took advantage in twenty -sixteen to intervene on behalf of Donald Trump, helping him eke out a narrow victory. Now these motherfuckers are at it again.

A meme of the United States Capitol Building dome on fire with the headline “STAND BACK AND BARBECUE’ snaps on the projection screen.

‘Sowing discord and undermining democracy.’

A meme of Kamala Harris pushing a stooped Joe Biden in a wheelchair off a cliff snaps into view.

‘Scaling their operations and magnifying societal division.’

A meme of a crying child and a suburban house on fire with the headline “AMERICA UNDER KAMALA HARRIS” snaps into view.

‘Eroding confidence in election integrity.’

A meme of a black man stuffing multiple votes into a ballot box.

‘Threatening violence against election workers.’

A meme of an election official recounting ballots with a noose crudely drawn around her neck and the headline “TRAITOR” snaps into view.

‘That’s what winning an information war looks like. Let me show you what losing an information war looks like.’

General Rutledge rattles through a series of nicely designed and well-intentioned memes from various social media teams backed by the Democrats.

A meme of Trump and Biden side by side listing their healthcare policies. A meme of Trump with the headline “HOW DO YOU SPELL STUPID?”. A meme of Trump with the headline “PROMISE EVERYTHING - DELIVER NOTHING”. A meme of Trump with a Hitler moustache. Another meme of Trump with a Hitler moustache. Yet another meme of Trump with a Hitler moustache.

The projection screen goes blank. General Rutledge starts to step away.

‘Ladies and gentlemen, I’m going to relieve myself. By the time I come back, I want to see a hundred memes that are a hundred times better than these pieces of fucking dreck. Don’t let me down.’

He steps away then steps back.

‘And don’t let me see even one meme of Trump with a Hitler moustache.’

As he steps away, the young men and women start furiously working on their phones and laptops. Sounds of pings and laptop fans whirring up as electric circuits and microchips spin pixels through silicon. Fingers fluttering and clicking across keyboards and touchpads. Sliding across phone screens.

The best minds of our generation no longer work in medicine or finance or technology. The best minds of our generation make memes.

When General Rutledge returns, a junior officer opens a laptop on a metal lectern. This is where all the memes are being fed into. General Rutledge taps through meme after meme after meme, his face rigid until he breaks into a smile.

‘This one has potential.’

A meme of Satan with his arm around Trump’s shoulder, grinning and giving a thumbs up, snaps onto the projection screen.

‘Put a MAGA cap on Satan with the horns poking through and it’s good to go.’

General Rutledge taps through a few more memes until he projects a meme of rubbish stacked outside the gates of Mar-a-Lago with classified documents slipping out of split and broken archive boxes, a garish portrait of Trump leans against them. A German Shepherd has cocked its leg and is pissing on the painting.

‘Change the dog to a Border Collie and it’s good to go.’

A meme of Trump eating a kitten snaps onto the projection screen. General Rutledge grins.

‘Add some drips of blood to his white shirt and it’s good to go.’

As each meme is approved it enters a series of offshore data farms that post it into hundreds of thousands of social media accounts with millions of followers.

General Rutledge taps through some more memes and then projects a meme of Trump with a tiny pillow over his right ear emblazoned with a tiny golden T and the headline “TRUMP EAR PILLOW - SAVE 50% WITH PROMO CODE!”

‘Make the T bigger. Then it’s good to go.’

A meme of Trump and JD Vance as reptiles in suits and ties, beady eyes, slimy scales and the italicised headline “REPTARDS!!” snaps onto the projection screen.

‘Give JD a sleepy eye. Make Trump cross-eyed. Give them both forked tongues and fangs and it’s good to go.’

General Rutledge clicks through more memes, frowning. Keeps clicking, keeps frowning. Then stops as a smile spreads across his face.

A meme of Trump as a giant spoiled baby with tiny hands wearing a soiled diaper and bawling his eyes out snaps into view with the headline “DUMP TRUMP!”. General Rutledge starts laughing.

‘That’s good to go.’

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The moral rights of the author are asserted.

No part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, digital, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying or copying and pasting, recording or any information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing.

Stefano Boscutti acknowledges the trademark owners of various products referenced in this work. The publication or use of these trademarks is not authorised or sponsored by the trademark owner.

This is a work of fiction. While many of the characters portrayed here have counterparts in the life and times of the United States military and others, the characterisations and incidents presented are totally the products of the author’s snappy imagination. This work is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. It should not be resold or given away. Thank you for your support. (Couldn’t do it without you.)

Discover novels, screenplays, short stories and more by Stefano Boscutti at boscutti.com

STEFANO BOSCUTTI

MEME MACHINE

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